Original flashfics/ficlets
Mar. 3rd, 2010 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snorkackcatcherThe following were written for the recently-concluded 'Snow Drabble Board' event of the 'Winter Pulpympics' on the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
pulped_fictions writing comm (members only, hence the repost here, but applications welcome) -- i.e. fics of 100-500 words using the prompts given. (I'm calling them flashfics/ficlets here rather than drabbles because they're not an exact word count and I'm being pedantic about this.)
Incidentally, 'original' here == 'not fanfic'. I'm not claiming immense actual originality, although I did try not to use the prompts in the most obvious way, at least for the first three.
Title: A Matter of Punctuation
Challenge: 'I Like Your Girlfriend' [song video]
Summary: Misplaced commas can be expensive.
"You agreed to let me see my design through to production! You can't go and dump me after three months now I've done all the hard work, just so you can bring in someone cheaper to implement it! You signed a contract that hired me for a minimum of one year!"
"I'm sorry, Alan, but that's not what the contract says."
"Oh yes it does! Doesn't it, Emma?"
"Well, um ..."
"What? Oh, not you as well!"
"I did tell you not to sign it until you'd checked, darling. But you wouldn't listen to me, would you?"
"It's obvious what it means! He has to pay me for a year!"
"I'm afraid not. The clause says, 'Employment shall be for an initial term of twelve months from the date of the contract, and thereafter for successive six month periods, unless and until either party gives one month's notice of termination in writing.' You see? I gave you the month's notice, that's all I had to do."
"After the initial term, yes! The one month bit only applies to the -- what does it call them? -- oh yeah, the 'successive six month periods'. It's pretty clear what it means, isn't it?"
"Apparently not to you, Alan. That second comma makes the reference to six month periods a parenthetical phrase, so the month's notice applies to the whole thing, you see. It's not my fault that you don't understand simple rules of punctuation, my dear chap. Because I, like your girlfriend, know that an extra comma can make a big difference to the meaning of a phrase."
--------------------
Note: Why yes, I was riffing off the Million Dollar Comma case. It seemed the easiest way to get to that last line.
Title: Breaking News
Challenge: picture of a cute puppy
Summary: How could a poor little puppy do you any harm?
BREAKING NEWS -- PROMINENT BUSINESSMAN MURDERED
by Staff Reporter
The business world was stunned this morning by the murder of Fortune 500 CEO Alden Parker, 51, just five hundred yards from his home.
A passing UPS deliveryman saw him appear to collapse while talking to another man, who had left the scene before the driver could turn his vehicle in order to assist. He discovered that Parker had been stabbed through the heart, and according to the pathologist's report probably killed instantly. Police have released few further details of the killing, but sources within the department suggest it may have been a professional 'hit'.
Parker had received criticism in certain quarters for company policies alleged to have caused the deaths of many Latin American employees through unsafe and abusive working practices. The company declined to comment on the matter today, other than to express condolences to Parker's widow Ione, 32, and two children.
The killer apparently exploited Parker's known habits. Neighbours describe him as a keen dog-lover, who would often pause his regular morning jog to greet their pets. The eye-witness reported finding a small puppy at the scene, and it is understood that police are trying to trace its ownership.
More details are expected to be available in subsequent editions and on our website.
Title: Many Icy Days
Challenge: 'Storm'
Summary: Winter comes quickly in these parts, a check on ambition wiser men would have heeded.
Winter comes quickly in these parts, a check on ambition wiser men would have heeded.
For there is only one way for an army to survive here. It must find itself shelter; strong walls, blazing fires, stores of provender. And if its general leads it to this land, so far from home, there is only one way to secure them. Too many would-be besiegers have felt blood and bone freeze here in the wastes surrounding lonely castles, the remnants of once-proud hosts breaking up and melting away in the first thaw of spring.
No, if an army wishes to survive such a winter, it must take its shelter from those who have it. It must storm castles heedless of defences, knowing that many will fall even if the attack is successful; it must hope that the strong walls are yet weak enough to be overcome, that the blazing fires poured down from them do not take too high a toll, and that the stores of provender are enough for those who remain to endure until warmth finally returns to the land.
And even an army that achieves these feats must then hope its strength is still enough to fight its way home.
Winter leaves slowly in these parts. And a general who has unwisely led his men here has many icy days to rue his over-ambition.
Title: Prize Items
Challenge: 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' [a quote from a Buffy episode]
Summary: Something needed to happen to make the museum tour more exciting.
"And on your right you will see the prize items in our South American collection, the relics taken from the tomb of the god-emperor Ixcliacan by an expedition financed by our trustees ..."
Bobby's mind was beginning to wander. The school tour of the Higgs Foundation Museum of Archaeology had sounded quite promising when first announced. According to Mrs Hargreaves, the place had lots of interesting-sounding things like ancient mummies and sacrificial knives, and well, yeah, to be fair they did have them -- but you weren't allowed to touch anything.
"... the golden robes are believed to have been used at sun ceremonies of some kind ..."
So basically, they didn't know, then. You couldn't even take a good close look at these supposed prize items. Ropes kept you ten feet away and the lighting was awful.
"... the inscriptions on the enamelled death mask seem to refer to a terrible fate that will befall him who removes it from the sacred remains of the god-emperor ..."
And the guide's droning voice didn't help. Even when he was talking about curses, he made them sound as dull as an English lesson.
"... now if you will turn left and make your way into the Mellenheim Gallery, you will see a most fascinating collection of Aztec pottery ...
Bobby hung back as they left and looked wistfully at the relics. The sarg ... sarc ... whatever containing the stuffed body looked really creepy, what with the dim light glinting off its death mask and everything.
He supposed he'd better catch the rest of them up. They were probably all as bored as he was by now, and hoping something, anything, interesting would happen.
Yeah ...
"... these fragments are indicative of the firing process adopted ... what?" The guide paused his lecture as loud screams came from the teenagers bringing up the rear of the tour party, turned, and blanched. That was understandable; the figure in golden robes and hideous enamelled mask would be enough to scare anybody. "No -- no, it can't be true ...
It spoke in a low rasp. "You have taken the god-emperor's mask from him and must suffer your fate!"
"But they were very careful to leave the mask on the corp --" The guide paused for a minute and recovered his self-control. "Wait. Where's that other boy?"
The robed figure gave a deep, malicious chuckle, then removed its mask to reveal a laughing Bobby. "You should have seen your faces! All of you screaming!" There was a short pause while everybody stared, then the screams broke out again. "Yeah, like that!"
He never saw the sacrificial knife that struck him down, nor the wizened arm that wielded it.
--------------------
Note: This reminded me of seeing the posters for this exhibition on the Tube, and I wanted something slightly less hackneyed than an Egyptian theme. :)
Comments invited, naturally.
pulped_fictions writing comm (members only, hence the repost here, but applications welcome) -- i.e. fics of 100-500 words using the prompts given. (I'm calling them flashfics/ficlets here rather than drabbles because they're not an exact word count and I'm being pedantic about this.)Incidentally, 'original' here == 'not fanfic'. I'm not claiming immense actual originality, although I did try not to use the prompts in the most obvious way, at least for the first three.
Title: A Matter of Punctuation
Challenge: 'I Like Your Girlfriend' [song video]
Summary: Misplaced commas can be expensive.
"You agreed to let me see my design through to production! You can't go and dump me after three months now I've done all the hard work, just so you can bring in someone cheaper to implement it! You signed a contract that hired me for a minimum of one year!"
"I'm sorry, Alan, but that's not what the contract says."
"Oh yes it does! Doesn't it, Emma?"
"Well, um ..."
"What? Oh, not you as well!"
"I did tell you not to sign it until you'd checked, darling. But you wouldn't listen to me, would you?"
"It's obvious what it means! He has to pay me for a year!"
"I'm afraid not. The clause says, 'Employment shall be for an initial term of twelve months from the date of the contract, and thereafter for successive six month periods, unless and until either party gives one month's notice of termination in writing.' You see? I gave you the month's notice, that's all I had to do."
"After the initial term, yes! The one month bit only applies to the -- what does it call them? -- oh yeah, the 'successive six month periods'. It's pretty clear what it means, isn't it?"
"Apparently not to you, Alan. That second comma makes the reference to six month periods a parenthetical phrase, so the month's notice applies to the whole thing, you see. It's not my fault that you don't understand simple rules of punctuation, my dear chap. Because I, like your girlfriend, know that an extra comma can make a big difference to the meaning of a phrase."
--------------------
Note: Why yes, I was riffing off the Million Dollar Comma case. It seemed the easiest way to get to that last line.
Title: Breaking News
Challenge: picture of a cute puppy
Summary: How could a poor little puppy do you any harm?
by Staff Reporter
The business world was stunned this morning by the murder of Fortune 500 CEO Alden Parker, 51, just five hundred yards from his home.
A passing UPS deliveryman saw him appear to collapse while talking to another man, who had left the scene before the driver could turn his vehicle in order to assist. He discovered that Parker had been stabbed through the heart, and according to the pathologist's report probably killed instantly. Police have released few further details of the killing, but sources within the department suggest it may have been a professional 'hit'.
Parker had received criticism in certain quarters for company policies alleged to have caused the deaths of many Latin American employees through unsafe and abusive working practices. The company declined to comment on the matter today, other than to express condolences to Parker's widow Ione, 32, and two children.
The killer apparently exploited Parker's known habits. Neighbours describe him as a keen dog-lover, who would often pause his regular morning jog to greet their pets. The eye-witness reported finding a small puppy at the scene, and it is understood that police are trying to trace its ownership.
More details are expected to be available in subsequent editions and on our website.
Title: Many Icy Days
Challenge: 'Storm'
Summary: Winter comes quickly in these parts, a check on ambition wiser men would have heeded.
Winter comes quickly in these parts, a check on ambition wiser men would have heeded.
For there is only one way for an army to survive here. It must find itself shelter; strong walls, blazing fires, stores of provender. And if its general leads it to this land, so far from home, there is only one way to secure them. Too many would-be besiegers have felt blood and bone freeze here in the wastes surrounding lonely castles, the remnants of once-proud hosts breaking up and melting away in the first thaw of spring.
No, if an army wishes to survive such a winter, it must take its shelter from those who have it. It must storm castles heedless of defences, knowing that many will fall even if the attack is successful; it must hope that the strong walls are yet weak enough to be overcome, that the blazing fires poured down from them do not take too high a toll, and that the stores of provender are enough for those who remain to endure until warmth finally returns to the land.
And even an army that achieves these feats must then hope its strength is still enough to fight its way home.
Winter leaves slowly in these parts. And a general who has unwisely led his men here has many icy days to rue his over-ambition.
Title: Prize Items
Challenge: 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' [a quote from a Buffy episode]
Summary: Something needed to happen to make the museum tour more exciting.
"And on your right you will see the prize items in our South American collection, the relics taken from the tomb of the god-emperor Ixcliacan by an expedition financed by our trustees ..."
Bobby's mind was beginning to wander. The school tour of the Higgs Foundation Museum of Archaeology had sounded quite promising when first announced. According to Mrs Hargreaves, the place had lots of interesting-sounding things like ancient mummies and sacrificial knives, and well, yeah, to be fair they did have them -- but you weren't allowed to touch anything.
"... the golden robes are believed to have been used at sun ceremonies of some kind ..."
So basically, they didn't know, then. You couldn't even take a good close look at these supposed prize items. Ropes kept you ten feet away and the lighting was awful.
"... the inscriptions on the enamelled death mask seem to refer to a terrible fate that will befall him who removes it from the sacred remains of the god-emperor ..."
And the guide's droning voice didn't help. Even when he was talking about curses, he made them sound as dull as an English lesson.
"... now if you will turn left and make your way into the Mellenheim Gallery, you will see a most fascinating collection of Aztec pottery ...
Bobby hung back as they left and looked wistfully at the relics. The sarg ... sarc ... whatever containing the stuffed body looked really creepy, what with the dim light glinting off its death mask and everything.
He supposed he'd better catch the rest of them up. They were probably all as bored as he was by now, and hoping something, anything, interesting would happen.
Yeah ...
"... these fragments are indicative of the firing process adopted ... what?" The guide paused his lecture as loud screams came from the teenagers bringing up the rear of the tour party, turned, and blanched. That was understandable; the figure in golden robes and hideous enamelled mask would be enough to scare anybody. "No -- no, it can't be true ...
It spoke in a low rasp. "You have taken the god-emperor's mask from him and must suffer your fate!"
"But they were very careful to leave the mask on the corp --" The guide paused for a minute and recovered his self-control. "Wait. Where's that other boy?"
The robed figure gave a deep, malicious chuckle, then removed its mask to reveal a laughing Bobby. "You should have seen your faces! All of you screaming!" There was a short pause while everybody stared, then the screams broke out again. "Yeah, like that!"
He never saw the sacrificial knife that struck him down, nor the wizened arm that wielded it.
--------------------
Note: This reminded me of seeing the posters for this exhibition on the Tube, and I wanted something slightly less hackneyed than an Egyptian theme. :)
Comments invited, naturally.
