Fic: Sleeping With The Enemy
Oct. 14th, 2005 07:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snorkackcatcherAs a break from ch31 of NTLJ (finally taking shape -- hopefully this will be the last Really Difficult Chapter), I wrote the following short piece -- a little plot bunny I had for the FA "OMG-it's-HBP" challenge, but never got around to before. But it kept hopping up and down in front of me until I either had to pat it or take it out with a shotgun.
Maybe I should have done the latter, because it's Astronomy Tower-type stuff (at which I generally clunk), and quite likely I have the psychology laughably wrong. So approach with flamethrowers fully charged. :)
Summary: "She must be lying there peacefully, not a care in the world, while I'm lying here quietly crying into my pillow ... After all, it seems She's the one who Won-Won wants." [Ron/Lavender and Ron/Hermione triangulation, 1082 words]
I can't see her -- Her -- through the hangings drawn around the next bed -- but I can hear her. Oh yes. I can hear the sound of her breathing -- it's quiet, it's regular, it's easy. She must be lying there peacefully, not a care in the world, while I'm lying here quietly crying into my pillow. She's not crying, is she? Oh no. She's perfectly happy, I bet. She looked like the Kneazle that's got the cream tonight. Why shouldn't she? After all, it seems She's the one who Won-Won wants.
It's not fair! I just know it was me who got his interest first, not ... not Her. It was me who actually tried to make it plain what I felt about him. Why oh why couldn't something have happened for us before! Why oh why did I wait till this year to make a move? I could so easily have gone to that Yule Ball with Ron -- if I'd just waited a bit longer, if I hadn't already said yes to the first boy to ask me in case no-one else did. Well all right, it would only have been because he and Harry hadn't got dates yet, but it could have been a start, couldn't it?
Hah! A start. Yeah right, dry your eyes, girl, because it's finished now, isn't it? And I've got to face Her in the morning, somehow. Merlin knows how, because I don't. I don't know how I'm going to face poor Ron either, after the way I completely lost it when I saw them tonight ... Oh you deserved it though, Ron, you ... you ... you bastard! Yes! That felt good. Poor Ron? Hah! You bastard, Ron. Leading me on all this time, letting me think -- or hope -- that you might actually care about me. I wanted to think you cared about me, Ron! I can be really stupid sometimes.
I'm going to have to face you and Her tomorrow, aren't I? And the next day, and the day after that, and the rest of the year. And every night I'm going to have to come up here and get ready for bed and try to go to sleep knowing She's in the next bed, and then wake up in the morning and get up to see Her looking smug, and I'm going to have to pretend. Pretend I don't really mind. Pretend I haven't been crying my eyes out over it. Pretend I couldn't care less about Ron or who he's with. Oh yeah, like everyone's going to believe that.
I'm pathetic. I've always had a bit of a crush on Ron really. The poor lamb's just so ... so ... so sweet sometimes, even if he is totally clueless, bless him. I suppose I even used to find it funny when he made those stupid crude jokes in class, though I was never going to let him know if I could help it! Maybe I should have. Why couldn't you have noticed what I felt, Ronnie! Other people noticed. My Oh-So-Pretty-And-Popular friend, she noticed, of course. (When she didn't have half an eye on Harry anyway. That never got her very far, did it? He only had eyes for that Cho Chang.) Oh all right, she found it a bit of a laugh, but she did notice, she did encourage me to finally have a go this year. Said she reckoned that in the end, I'd just have to swallow my pride and make it so obvious he couldn't possibly miss it before the daft prat cottoned on that I really liked him.
Well, fair's fair, she was right, wasn't she? It worked -- well, I thought it had worked before tonight. Hah! She must have outbid me, been even more obvious. Ron wouldn't ever have noticed Her otherwise, would he? Not that I could ever prise him away from Harry long enough to get him to notice me before, especially not last year with all that ... that You-Know-Who thing going on. I can still hear Her -- yes, you in the next bed, Little Miss Go-Behind-My-Back -- shooting her mouth off about it the first night back. It was all talk about Harry and the DA last year, wasn't it? Never gave Ronnie a thought then did you?
Oh yes, I can still hear Her all right. Turning over, probably having sweet dreams. What are you dreaming of, eh? Whatever it was you were doing with Ron tonight when I caught the two of you sneaking around together? No I don't want to think about that but I can't bloody stop! Oh Ron ... you bastard. I don't want to picture you ... kissing Her when you should have been kissing me or imagine you holding Her like you should have been holding me or you and Her ... no, you couldn't have been. Could you? You wouldn't. Not with Her. Not with Little Miss Peaceful in the next ... bed, is that why oh hell I'm going to start crying again! Why couldn't She just have stuck with the nice Irish boy she pulled and left Ron alone?
I'm not even surprised. Not really. I've been wondering if She was starting to take an interest in Ronnie for a while now. She was being suspiciously nice to him all of a sudden, and she'd hardly taken any notice of him for ages! Poor lamb, he must have been flattered by it ... oh sod him he's not poor anything is he? Sod him, if he wants Her more than me. I don't know what he thinks She can give him that I can't. At least I wanted our relationship to be serious.
I wonder if Harry knows about Ron and Her yet? Probably does. He and Ron must tell each other everything. Those boys are practically joined at the hip. That's why tonight, I finally knew. When Ron came down the boys stairs with Her, and Harry was nowhere in sight, I knew. I knew I was out of luck. I knew I couldn't keep pretending Ron really wanted to keep going out with me any more. I knew She'd cut me out. I knew She'd won.
And now I have to lie here, with Her sleeping peacefully in the next bed. Peacefully. Hah! I'll give her peacefully. I'd like to strangle her with her own stupid bushy hair.
And I'm going to have to just cry myself to sleep, and try not to hear Her.
--------------
*ducks behind asbestos shielding* OK, flame away. :)
Maybe I should have done the latter, because it's Astronomy Tower-type stuff (at which I generally clunk), and quite likely I have the psychology laughably wrong. So approach with flamethrowers fully charged. :)
Summary: "She must be lying there peacefully, not a care in the world, while I'm lying here quietly crying into my pillow ... After all, it seems She's the one who Won-Won wants." [Ron/Lavender and Ron/Hermione triangulation, 1082 words]
I can't see her -- Her -- through the hangings drawn around the next bed -- but I can hear her. Oh yes. I can hear the sound of her breathing -- it's quiet, it's regular, it's easy. She must be lying there peacefully, not a care in the world, while I'm lying here quietly crying into my pillow. She's not crying, is she? Oh no. She's perfectly happy, I bet. She looked like the Kneazle that's got the cream tonight. Why shouldn't she? After all, it seems She's the one who Won-Won wants.
It's not fair! I just know it was me who got his interest first, not ... not Her. It was me who actually tried to make it plain what I felt about him. Why oh why couldn't something have happened for us before! Why oh why did I wait till this year to make a move? I could so easily have gone to that Yule Ball with Ron -- if I'd just waited a bit longer, if I hadn't already said yes to the first boy to ask me in case no-one else did. Well all right, it would only have been because he and Harry hadn't got dates yet, but it could have been a start, couldn't it?
Hah! A start. Yeah right, dry your eyes, girl, because it's finished now, isn't it? And I've got to face Her in the morning, somehow. Merlin knows how, because I don't. I don't know how I'm going to face poor Ron either, after the way I completely lost it when I saw them tonight ... Oh you deserved it though, Ron, you ... you ... you bastard! Yes! That felt good. Poor Ron? Hah! You bastard, Ron. Leading me on all this time, letting me think -- or hope -- that you might actually care about me. I wanted to think you cared about me, Ron! I can be really stupid sometimes.
I'm going to have to face you and Her tomorrow, aren't I? And the next day, and the day after that, and the rest of the year. And every night I'm going to have to come up here and get ready for bed and try to go to sleep knowing She's in the next bed, and then wake up in the morning and get up to see Her looking smug, and I'm going to have to pretend. Pretend I don't really mind. Pretend I haven't been crying my eyes out over it. Pretend I couldn't care less about Ron or who he's with. Oh yeah, like everyone's going to believe that.
I'm pathetic. I've always had a bit of a crush on Ron really. The poor lamb's just so ... so ... so sweet sometimes, even if he is totally clueless, bless him. I suppose I even used to find it funny when he made those stupid crude jokes in class, though I was never going to let him know if I could help it! Maybe I should have. Why couldn't you have noticed what I felt, Ronnie! Other people noticed. My Oh-So-Pretty-And-Popular friend, she noticed, of course. (When she didn't have half an eye on Harry anyway. That never got her very far, did it? He only had eyes for that Cho Chang.) Oh all right, she found it a bit of a laugh, but she did notice, she did encourage me to finally have a go this year. Said she reckoned that in the end, I'd just have to swallow my pride and make it so obvious he couldn't possibly miss it before the daft prat cottoned on that I really liked him.
Well, fair's fair, she was right, wasn't she? It worked -- well, I thought it had worked before tonight. Hah! She must have outbid me, been even more obvious. Ron wouldn't ever have noticed Her otherwise, would he? Not that I could ever prise him away from Harry long enough to get him to notice me before, especially not last year with all that ... that You-Know-Who thing going on. I can still hear Her -- yes, you in the next bed, Little Miss Go-Behind-My-Back -- shooting her mouth off about it the first night back. It was all talk about Harry and the DA last year, wasn't it? Never gave Ronnie a thought then did you?
Oh yes, I can still hear Her all right. Turning over, probably having sweet dreams. What are you dreaming of, eh? Whatever it was you were doing with Ron tonight when I caught the two of you sneaking around together? No I don't want to think about that but I can't bloody stop! Oh Ron ... you bastard. I don't want to picture you ... kissing Her when you should have been kissing me or imagine you holding Her like you should have been holding me or you and Her ... no, you couldn't have been. Could you? You wouldn't. Not with Her. Not with Little Miss Peaceful in the next ... bed, is that why oh hell I'm going to start crying again! Why couldn't She just have stuck with the nice Irish boy she pulled and left Ron alone?
I'm not even surprised. Not really. I've been wondering if She was starting to take an interest in Ronnie for a while now. She was being suspiciously nice to him all of a sudden, and she'd hardly taken any notice of him for ages! Poor lamb, he must have been flattered by it ... oh sod him he's not poor anything is he? Sod him, if he wants Her more than me. I don't know what he thinks She can give him that I can't. At least I wanted our relationship to be serious.
I wonder if Harry knows about Ron and Her yet? Probably does. He and Ron must tell each other everything. Those boys are practically joined at the hip. That's why tonight, I finally knew. When Ron came down the boys stairs with Her, and Harry was nowhere in sight, I knew. I knew I was out of luck. I knew I couldn't keep pretending Ron really wanted to keep going out with me any more. I knew She'd cut me out. I knew She'd won.
And now I have to lie here, with Her sleeping peacefully in the next bed. Peacefully. Hah! I'll give her peacefully. I'd like to strangle her with her own stupid bushy hair.
And I'm going to have to just cry myself to sleep, and try not to hear Her.
--------------
*ducks behind asbestos shielding* OK, flame away. :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 06:24 pm (UTC)(But then that was a long, long time ago.)
Maybe 'those two' rather than 'those boys', which has a bit of Molly about it? But it's your call - the story works either way!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 06:51 pm (UTC)I know what you mean about the sentences - I tried to keep them short, but it's a bit constrained by trying to make an actual story out of it, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-14 06:53 pm (UTC)