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snorkackcatcherThat Twelve Character Meme thing, gacked from ... all over the place.
First, write down the names of 12 characters. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use. (Or in my case, write down six men and six women then Randomly Permute them.)
Naturally the Potterverse provides one set of characters, although I thought I'd make a selection from some of the lesser-used ones for a change. And just to be silly I thought I'd do a version for PG Wodehouse characters too. (Although given the nature of his stories, this does feel wrong on so many levels. And I don't think you get much PG fanfic.)
Harry Potter Characters
1. Romilda Vane
2. Gregory Goyle
3. Dolores Umbridge
4. Madame Maxime
5. Kingsley Shacklebolt
6. Roger Davies
7. Ernie Macmillan
8. Stan Shunpike
9. Parvati Patil
10. Gabrielle Delacour
11. Rufus Scrimgeour
12. Cho Chang
Have you ever read a Six (Roger Davies)/Eleven (Rufus Scrimgeour) fic? Do you want to?
No, and no. :)
Do you think Four (Madam Maxime) is hot? How hot?
Erm, well I'm partial to leggy girls, but there are limits ...
What would happen if Twelve (Cho Chang) got Eight (Stan Shunpike) pregnant?
Anything could happen. It's obviously already a badfic, isn't it?
Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Parvati Patil)?
Surprisingly few. Parvati Prevails by a_linz is a light-hearted ten-chapter story featuring Draco/Parvati (sort of) and Harry/Parvati, a Mad Stalker, and Airhead!Lavender. Canon? What canon?
Would Two (Gregory Goyle) and Six (Roger Davies) make a good couple?
Do I even need to say no?
Five/Nine (Kingsley Shacklebolt/Parvati Patil) or Five/Ten? (Kingsley Shacklebolt/Gabrielle Delacour) Why?
Come to think of it, I really shouldn't have picked Gabrielle for this. Oh well, I'll say Parvati would have got there first before Gaby had time to grow up.
What would happen if Seven (Ernie Macmillan) walked in on Two (Gregory Goyle) and Twelve (Cho Chang) having sex?
The poor boy would probably be mentally scarred for life.
Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Dolores Umbridge/Gabrielle Delacour) fic.
"Dolores Umbridge realises that some part-humans can have a certain charm."
OK, now I need to wash my brain.
Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Romilda Vane/Stan Shunpike) fluff?
Not as far as I know, but it would be absolutely hilarious if anyone wanted to write some.
Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Ernie Macmillan/Cho Chang) hurt/comfort fic.
Is that Cho comforts Ernie or vice-versa? I'll assume the former. "Better Ways Of Spending Ten Hours Than OWL Revision"
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Madam Maxime) to deflower One (Romilda Vane)?
"You know, girl, my little finger is probably larger than Harry Potter's, erm ..."
Argh. I refer you to my previous remarks re washing brain.
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Ernie Macmillan) slash?
Does anyone write Ernie Macmillan slash? For that matter, does anyone write Ernie Macmillan het? Does the poor boy ever get laid in any fanfic anywhere?
Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Dolores Umbridge) het?
If they do, I'd rather they didn't admit to it.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Rufus Scrimgeour)?
Erm - not so far, I don't think. Probably only a matter of time though.
Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Gregory Goyle/Madam Maxime/Kingsley Shacklebolt)?
Only if very drunk. I hope.
What might Ten (Gabrielle Delacour) scream at a moment of great passion?
I suppose it has to be "Je t'aime!" :)
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Stan Shunpike), which song would you choose?
Er - at the moment, Jailhouse Rock. Otherwise, it would just have to be the Who's Magic Bus, wouldn't it? :)
If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic (Romilda Vane/Roger Davies/Cho Chang), what would the warnings be?
Contains love potions, rampant egotism, and much weeping.
What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Gregory Goyle) to use on Ten (Gabrielle Delacour)?
Can Goyle actually speak? He's never had a line yet, has he? Erm - "would you give me French lessons?" seems about the best we could expect.
When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Kingsley Shacklebolt)?
You know, I don't think I ever have read a fic in which he was the sole lead character? (Co-star or ensemble player, yes.)
What is Six's (Roger Davies) super-sekrit kink?
Working his way through the Ravenclaw girls' dormitories in a single night with the use of a Time-Turner and (if required) liberal amounts of Viagra Potion.
Would Eleven (Rufus Scrimgeour) shag Nine (Parvati Patil)? Drunk or sober?
Um - possibly? Although she's supposed to be good-looking, I have no idea what Rufus' love life may be like.
If Three (Dolores Umbridge) and Seven (Ernie Macmillan) get together, who tops?
Dolores. Ernie would be too scared to argue.
Brain, wash, etc.
"Romilda Vane and Parvati Patil are in a happy relationship until Parvati suddenly runs off with Madam Maxime. Romilda, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Rufus Scrimgeour and a brief unhappy affair with Cho Chang, then follows the wise advice of Kingsley Shacklebolt and finds true love with Dolores Umbridge." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
OK, has anyone EVER got a vaguely plausible scenario out of this question?
How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Ernie Macmillan/Stan Shunpike) was canon?
ROTFL, I think. :)
PG Wodehouse Characters
1. Madeline Basset
2. Archibald Mulliner
3. Rupert Psmith
4. Bobbie Wickham
5. Gertrude Butterwick
6. Hon. Galahad Threepwood
7. Honoria Glossop
8. Rosie M Banks
9. Sue Brown
10. Rodney Spelvin
11. Bingo Little
12. Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
Have you ever read a Six (Hon. Galahad Threepwood)/Eleven (Bingo Little) fic? Do you want to?
Obviously not, and not really.
Do you think Four (Bobbie Wickham) is hot? How hot?
Reasonably cute by the sound of her. But definitely hot in that you're almost bound to get your fingers burned.
What would happen if Twelve (Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge) got Eight (Rosie M Banks) pregnant?
Whoo-hoo, a biologically feasible one! Erm, a tearful Rosie would probably beg Bingo to forgive her for her indiscretion, Stanley would don a false beard and hide out in some wild, remote, and desolate spot such as Birmingham, and Bingo would probably be hopelessly confused and hurt, but because he loves her would find some way to keep the marriage together (with him in the driving seat for once).
Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Sue Brown)?
Sure. Summer Lightning and Heavy Weather. :)
Would Two (Archibald Mulliner) and Six (Hon. Galahad Threepwood) make a good couple?
I think Gally would be bored within approximately fifteen minutes, Archie being a chap so pinheaded that if his brains had been constructed of silk, he would have been hard put to it to find enough material to make a canary a pair of cami-knickers.
Five/Nine (Gertrude Butterwick/Sue Brown) or Five/Ten? (Gertrude Butterwick/Rodney Spelvin) Why?
You know, I could see Gertrude going for that Soulful Artist schtick Rodney had at one time? And afterwards they could discuss the relative merits or hitting balls with hockey sticks and golf clubs.
What would happen if Seven (Honoria Glossop) walked in on Two (Archibald Mulliner) and Twelve (Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge) having sex?
She'd be extremely shocked. And then she'd sit down and start taking notes to use in her novel.
Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Rupert Psmith/Rodney Spelvin) fic.
"Psmith deecides to find out just how much entertainment it is possible to extract from a man who can write bilge like The Purple Fan" [a story which would probably make most Mary Sue shipfics look like Pride and Prejudice]
Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Madeline Basset/Rosie M Banks) fluff?
Not as far as I know, but if anything involving two characters like Madeline and Rosie was written it would surely be mathematically impossible for it to be anything else but fluffy.
Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Honoria Glossop/Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge) hurt/comfort fic.
"You Must Have Vision and the Big, Broad, Flexible Outlook, Honoria!"
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Bobbie Wickham) to deflower One (Madeline Basset)?
"Oh no! I've just found out that unless we sleep together, a lickle itty bitty baby rabbit DIES!"
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Honoria Glossop) slash?
Most unlikely.
Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Rupert Psmith) het?
Not unless they've read Leave it to Psmith.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Bingo Little)?
Doubt it, but there's plenty of scope there.
Would anyone on your friends list write Archibald Mulliner/Bobbie Wickham/Gertrude Butterwick?
"Unlikely" seems a surprisingly inadequate word here.
What might Ten (Rodney Spelvin) scream at a moment of great passion?
Before his purification? Probably something very arty in a foreign language. Afterwards? "Fore!"
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Rosie M Banks), which song would you choose?
Erm - anything extremely slushy would do.
If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic (Madeline Basset/Hon. Galahad Threepwood/Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge), what would the warnings be?
Contains excesive sentimentality, dubious anecdotes, and a man in a dirty yellow mac.
What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Archibald Mulliner) to use on Ten (Rodney Spelvin)?
Well, it could only be "Would you like to come round to my place and see me imitate a hen laying an egg?" :)
When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Gertrude Butterwick)?
Probably rhe last time I read The Luck of the Bodkins. :)
What is Six's (Hon. Galahad Threepwood) super-sekrit kink?
I don't know, but probably something involvng absinthe. Or Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe and prawns.
Would Eleven (Bingo Little) shag Nine (Sue Brown)? Drunk or sober?
Bingo would shag any girl as long as they fell in love and got married first. And Bingo has a proven ability to fall in love with any girl, however unsuitable, so yes.
If Three (Rupert Psmith) and Seven (Honoria Glossop) get together, who tops?
I imagine they could argue about this for quite some time. But hey, Psmith is a gentleman, I'm sure he'd oblige her. :)
"Madeline Basset and Sue Brown are in a happy relationship until Sue suddenly runs off with Bobbie Wickham. Madeline, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Bingo Little and a brief unhappy affair with Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge, then follows the wise advice of Gertrude Butterwick and finds true love with Rupert Psmith." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Look, this could NEVER be a Wodehouse story. The plot isn't nearly complicated enough. And why isn't anybody trying to steal a painting or a necklace or a pig or something?
How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Honoria Glossop/Rosie M Banks) was canon?
That it was evidence of PG's hitherto unsuspected acid habit.
First, write down the names of 12 characters. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use. (Or in my case, write down six men and six women then Randomly Permute them.)
Naturally the Potterverse provides one set of characters, although I thought I'd make a selection from some of the lesser-used ones for a change. And just to be silly I thought I'd do a version for PG Wodehouse characters too. (Although given the nature of his stories, this does feel wrong on so many levels. And I don't think you get much PG fanfic.)
Harry Potter Characters
1. Romilda Vane
2. Gregory Goyle
3. Dolores Umbridge
4. Madame Maxime
5. Kingsley Shacklebolt
6. Roger Davies
7. Ernie Macmillan
8. Stan Shunpike
9. Parvati Patil
10. Gabrielle Delacour
11. Rufus Scrimgeour
12. Cho Chang
Have you ever read a Six (Roger Davies)/Eleven (Rufus Scrimgeour) fic? Do you want to?
No, and no. :)
Do you think Four (Madam Maxime) is hot? How hot?
Erm, well I'm partial to leggy girls, but there are limits ...
What would happen if Twelve (Cho Chang) got Eight (Stan Shunpike) pregnant?
Anything could happen. It's obviously already a badfic, isn't it?
Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Parvati Patil)?
Surprisingly few. Parvati Prevails by a_linz is a light-hearted ten-chapter story featuring Draco/Parvati (sort of) and Harry/Parvati, a Mad Stalker, and Airhead!Lavender. Canon? What canon?
Would Two (Gregory Goyle) and Six (Roger Davies) make a good couple?
Do I even need to say no?
Five/Nine (Kingsley Shacklebolt/Parvati Patil) or Five/Ten? (Kingsley Shacklebolt/Gabrielle Delacour) Why?
Come to think of it, I really shouldn't have picked Gabrielle for this. Oh well, I'll say Parvati would have got there first before Gaby had time to grow up.
What would happen if Seven (Ernie Macmillan) walked in on Two (Gregory Goyle) and Twelve (Cho Chang) having sex?
The poor boy would probably be mentally scarred for life.
Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Dolores Umbridge/Gabrielle Delacour) fic.
"Dolores Umbridge realises that some part-humans can have a certain charm."
OK, now I need to wash my brain.
Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Romilda Vane/Stan Shunpike) fluff?
Not as far as I know, but it would be absolutely hilarious if anyone wanted to write some.
Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Ernie Macmillan/Cho Chang) hurt/comfort fic.
Is that Cho comforts Ernie or vice-versa? I'll assume the former. "Better Ways Of Spending Ten Hours Than OWL Revision"
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Madam Maxime) to deflower One (Romilda Vane)?
"You know, girl, my little finger is probably larger than Harry Potter's, erm ..."
Argh. I refer you to my previous remarks re washing brain.
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Ernie Macmillan) slash?
Does anyone write Ernie Macmillan slash? For that matter, does anyone write Ernie Macmillan het? Does the poor boy ever get laid in any fanfic anywhere?
Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Dolores Umbridge) het?
If they do, I'd rather they didn't admit to it.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Rufus Scrimgeour)?
Erm - not so far, I don't think. Probably only a matter of time though.
Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five (Gregory Goyle/Madam Maxime/Kingsley Shacklebolt)?
Only if very drunk. I hope.
What might Ten (Gabrielle Delacour) scream at a moment of great passion?
I suppose it has to be "Je t'aime!" :)
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Stan Shunpike), which song would you choose?
Er - at the moment, Jailhouse Rock. Otherwise, it would just have to be the Who's Magic Bus, wouldn't it? :)
If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic (Romilda Vane/Roger Davies/Cho Chang), what would the warnings be?
Contains love potions, rampant egotism, and much weeping.
What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Gregory Goyle) to use on Ten (Gabrielle Delacour)?
Can Goyle actually speak? He's never had a line yet, has he? Erm - "would you give me French lessons?" seems about the best we could expect.
When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Kingsley Shacklebolt)?
You know, I don't think I ever have read a fic in which he was the sole lead character? (Co-star or ensemble player, yes.)
What is Six's (Roger Davies) super-sekrit kink?
Working his way through the Ravenclaw girls' dormitories in a single night with the use of a Time-Turner and (if required) liberal amounts of Viagra Potion.
Would Eleven (Rufus Scrimgeour) shag Nine (Parvati Patil)? Drunk or sober?
Um - possibly? Although she's supposed to be good-looking, I have no idea what Rufus' love life may be like.
If Three (Dolores Umbridge) and Seven (Ernie Macmillan) get together, who tops?
Dolores. Ernie would be too scared to argue.
Brain, wash, etc.
"Romilda Vane and Parvati Patil are in a happy relationship until Parvati suddenly runs off with Madam Maxime. Romilda, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Rufus Scrimgeour and a brief unhappy affair with Cho Chang, then follows the wise advice of Kingsley Shacklebolt and finds true love with Dolores Umbridge." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
OK, has anyone EVER got a vaguely plausible scenario out of this question?
How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Ernie Macmillan/Stan Shunpike) was canon?
ROTFL, I think. :)
PG Wodehouse Characters
1. Madeline Basset
2. Archibald Mulliner
3. Rupert Psmith
4. Bobbie Wickham
5. Gertrude Butterwick
6. Hon. Galahad Threepwood
7. Honoria Glossop
8. Rosie M Banks
9. Sue Brown
10. Rodney Spelvin
11. Bingo Little
12. Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
Have you ever read a Six (Hon. Galahad Threepwood)/Eleven (Bingo Little) fic? Do you want to?
Obviously not, and not really.
Do you think Four (Bobbie Wickham) is hot? How hot?
Reasonably cute by the sound of her. But definitely hot in that you're almost bound to get your fingers burned.
What would happen if Twelve (Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge) got Eight (Rosie M Banks) pregnant?
Whoo-hoo, a biologically feasible one! Erm, a tearful Rosie would probably beg Bingo to forgive her for her indiscretion, Stanley would don a false beard and hide out in some wild, remote, and desolate spot such as Birmingham, and Bingo would probably be hopelessly confused and hurt, but because he loves her would find some way to keep the marriage together (with him in the driving seat for once).
Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Sue Brown)?
Sure. Summer Lightning and Heavy Weather. :)
Would Two (Archibald Mulliner) and Six (Hon. Galahad Threepwood) make a good couple?
I think Gally would be bored within approximately fifteen minutes, Archie being a chap so pinheaded that if his brains had been constructed of silk, he would have been hard put to it to find enough material to make a canary a pair of cami-knickers.
Five/Nine (Gertrude Butterwick/Sue Brown) or Five/Ten? (Gertrude Butterwick/Rodney Spelvin) Why?
You know, I could see Gertrude going for that Soulful Artist schtick Rodney had at one time? And afterwards they could discuss the relative merits or hitting balls with hockey sticks and golf clubs.
What would happen if Seven (Honoria Glossop) walked in on Two (Archibald Mulliner) and Twelve (Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge) having sex?
She'd be extremely shocked. And then she'd sit down and start taking notes to use in her novel.
Make up a summary for a Three/Ten (Rupert Psmith/Rodney Spelvin) fic.
"Psmith deecides to find out just how much entertainment it is possible to extract from a man who can write bilge like The Purple Fan" [a story which would probably make most Mary Sue shipfics look like Pride and Prejudice]
Is there any such thing as One/Eight (Madeline Basset/Rosie M Banks) fluff?
Not as far as I know, but if anything involving two characters like Madeline and Rosie was written it would surely be mathematically impossible for it to be anything else but fluffy.
Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve (Honoria Glossop/Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge) hurt/comfort fic.
"You Must Have Vision and the Big, Broad, Flexible Outlook, Honoria!"
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Bobbie Wickham) to deflower One (Madeline Basset)?
"Oh no! I've just found out that unless we sleep together, a lickle itty bitty baby rabbit DIES!"
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Honoria Glossop) slash?
Most unlikely.
Does anyone on your friends list read Three (Rupert Psmith) het?
Not unless they've read Leave it to Psmith.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Bingo Little)?
Doubt it, but there's plenty of scope there.
Would anyone on your friends list write Archibald Mulliner/Bobbie Wickham/Gertrude Butterwick?
"Unlikely" seems a surprisingly inadequate word here.
What might Ten (Rodney Spelvin) scream at a moment of great passion?
Before his purification? Probably something very arty in a foreign language. Afterwards? "Fore!"
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Rosie M Banks), which song would you choose?
Erm - anything extremely slushy would do.
If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic (Madeline Basset/Hon. Galahad Threepwood/Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge), what would the warnings be?
Contains excesive sentimentality, dubious anecdotes, and a man in a dirty yellow mac.
What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Archibald Mulliner) to use on Ten (Rodney Spelvin)?
Well, it could only be "Would you like to come round to my place and see me imitate a hen laying an egg?" :)
When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Gertrude Butterwick)?
Probably rhe last time I read The Luck of the Bodkins. :)
What is Six's (Hon. Galahad Threepwood) super-sekrit kink?
I don't know, but probably something involvng absinthe. Or Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe and prawns.
Would Eleven (Bingo Little) shag Nine (Sue Brown)? Drunk or sober?
Bingo would shag any girl as long as they fell in love and got married first. And Bingo has a proven ability to fall in love with any girl, however unsuitable, so yes.
If Three (Rupert Psmith) and Seven (Honoria Glossop) get together, who tops?
I imagine they could argue about this for quite some time. But hey, Psmith is a gentleman, I'm sure he'd oblige her. :)
"Madeline Basset and Sue Brown are in a happy relationship until Sue suddenly runs off with Bobbie Wickham. Madeline, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Bingo Little and a brief unhappy affair with Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge, then follows the wise advice of Gertrude Butterwick and finds true love with Rupert Psmith." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Look, this could NEVER be a Wodehouse story. The plot isn't nearly complicated enough. And why isn't anybody trying to steal a painting or a necklace or a pig or something?
How would you feel if Seven/Eight (Honoria Glossop/Rosie M Banks) was canon?
That it was evidence of PG's hitherto unsuspected acid habit.
