NTLJ chapter 42 at FictionAlley

[snorkackcatcher]

Chapter 42, The Things We Do For Love, now posted at FictionAlley. This is the final chapter, although there will be a short epilogue -- having got this far, I'll now post it at both FA and CoS together in a few days time.

Lyrics: The last one was The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang from 2000, spotted by eccentricpirate and green_kiwigirl -- a fan once informed me that the rest of the album makes this one seem positively innocent :D. (If you were wondering what the tangential connection to the previous post was, it was one of the songs referenced in Maya/mistful's hilarious cracktastic slashorific GoF movie parody.)

An older one -- I confess I have an odd liking for both these artists!

You got the kind of legs that do more than walk
-- I don't have to listen to your whimpering talk
You got the kind of eyes that do more than see
-- You got a lotta nerve to come on to me
You got the kind of lips that do more than drink
-- You got the kind of mind that does less than think (1980s)

Comments

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

Meat Loaf and Cher(?): Dead Ringer for Love, from the Dead Ringer album, and I have far too much of his stuff too. If I mention that I've seen him live twice, do I get defriended? :)

[snorkackcatcher]

Not at all. :)

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

Just spent a bit of time pleasantly catching up on the last four-five chapters of NTLJ. Great stuff. Lots of nice lines, and a beautifully written Cassius all the way. Poor old thing. But all I really have to say is

ANGELICA HALLENDALE HA I TOLD YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I did. I am very pleased!

Other things I picked up on: the AK (or not). I don't know if you signalled it in the writing, but I was certain she was fine. Like the idea of Moody being low after his loss of an eye, though; one never really sees a Moody with feelings. I also knew exactly what Angelica was doing when she visited Clark, but then I could hardly be described as objective where she is concerned.

*exults again*

More please!

[snorkackcatcher]

Thanks. :D

Congratulations indeed, as I think you were one of the few who were suspicious of her from an early stage -- half the fic was an exercise in going "ooh, look at this shiny red herring!" to try to stop people looking too closely at her and her family. That Obliviation scene might need to be reworked somehow -- I left it that late in the story partly because it's so fishy, although at one point I did try to push the idea it was Monty Polyjuiced.

I tried to signal the failed AK by mentioning a few times how poor a wizard Clark was, and by including that 'Killing Curses Lecture' -- basically only there to introduce the idea that it could happen under this interpretation of Crouch!Moody's 'wouldn't get so much as a nosebleed' comment. Although one reviewer at CoS did call me on it by pointing out that if it were possible, Harry wouldn't be all that special -- a very reasonable comment. It's one of the many things that I'll have to take into account for the planned tightened-up Version 2.0 revision for SQ etc.

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

I think the Obliviate scene works at face value unless the reader is already suspicious, to be fair - you did a very good job of setting up the mother-love, and I think that does work. You're always fighting the fact that the reader knows it is a detective story, anyway. I'm sure I pounced on many red herrings during the tale, only to cast them sadly aside. But Angelica? I disliked her from the start.

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

And I meant to say that Cassius is a terrific original character - a real person. I'd happily read more of him.

[snorkackcatcher]

Thanks -- I was never convinced Angelica was working as a character (as opposed to a plot device), so I'm relieved if the setup seemed reasonable. That scene doesn't really have any alternative purpose which could work as a red herring, though (unlike the hairdressing scene, say, in which Portia and Norah appear onstage for the first time to distract from Jacqueline Carrack) -- I suppose it shows a bit of character stuff, but that's all.

[snorkackcatcher]

And thanks for this, too -- I felt I was rather contriving his emotions at the end because I needed him to (a) not suspect Angelica before Tonks did (b) want to retire, so it's good that the joins don't show, as it were. :)

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

Angelica worked fine for me as a character - I wonder if having a female protagonist helped at all here? She doesn't exactly go out of her way to be nice to Tonks, and then you have the relationship with Cassius - so the three of them give you a nice bit of coonflict which justifies her place in the story.

[snorkackcatcher]

Well, that's good then -- I was sort of feeling my way with a lot of this. I'm not sure she was meant to be quite so snippy with Tonks, it just seemed to work out that way.