New NTLJ chapters

[snorkackcatcher]

But before I give the links to those, a Happy Birthday to cho_malfoy837! And my apologies to anyone whose birthday I may have missed if it didn't show up in 'My LJ'. :(

Anyway, as far as NTLJ goes:

Chapter 41, An Auror's Lot Is Not A Happy One, is up at CoS Forums. In which Rhiannon is canonised, Cassius is sad, and Clark is unhelpful. (And I make yet another gratuitous reference to Gilbert and Sullivan in the title.)

Chapter 38, Let's Face The Music And Dance, is up at last at FictionAlley. Featuring the Halloween Ball scene -- because every long HP fanfic has to have a ball scene, doesn't it? There's a rule, right?

Lyrics: The last one was JCB Song by Nizlopi, a UK No. 1 at the end of last year -- I actually quite like it, but no-one spotted it. :) Here's one by a much more famous band:

Hangman, hangman, turn your head a while
I think I see my sister comin'
ridin' many a mile, mile, mile, mile
Sister, I implore ya, take him by the hand
A-take him to some shady bower
save me from the wrath of this man (Trad, this version 1970s)

Comments

[a-t-rain.livejournal.com]

Yay, one I know. "Gallows Pole" by Led Zepplin.

[octobersnow.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I'm debating on whether to hate you more for playing with me or love you for not killing her....

I think I'll go with love because you gave us another wonderful chapter and canonised her in the process, but I'll also leave a grain of resentment in there for the fact you left us on a pseudo-cliffhanger. *grrr*

[sugarannie.livejournal.com]

I kinda agree with the person posting before me. Although I am rather leaning towards loving you for making everything turn out fine...
I mean, you really had me shocked back there, and now everything turns out all right. I also guess I have to adore you for being able to write so well that you can mislead your readers like this!
And even a possible solution for the leaving-the-wife business!
Yeah, I do like this chapter altogether.

[snorkackcatcher]

It is indeed. (That's about the only verse that doesn't have the title in it, too.)

[snorkackcatcher]

Hah! You should read jesspallas's stories, her cliffhangers and character torture make me look positively kind. :)

Ahem. As I said, I nearly left that bit out (having already put Cassius in jeopardy) but didn't want to chicken out after having written in the setup for it back in chapter 23 or thereabouts. I'm kind of waiting to see what reaction the last few chapters get before considering revisions for other sites, so please mention anything that seems 'off'!

[snorkackcatcher]

Thanks -- as I said above, I nearly didn't do this plotline (and am still unsure about it in terms of leaving it in a revised version) precisely because it doesn't turn out as badly as it might have and is therefore a bit of an anticlimax. (The partial blindness is a bad injury -- it turned out as a rough analogy with Bill in HBP, although I've been planning to have her nearly killed for a while.) Not that JKR didn't do much the same in terms of nearly killing various characters in OotP, of course -- the problem is that the corresponding disaster for Tonks in this version is the same one as for Harry, when Sirius eventually falls through the Veil, which is a year and a half away from this point.

[octobersnow.livejournal.com]

jesspallas was the one that got me into LJ via reading Oblivious on ffn and then needing the update fix. And yes she was cliffie evilness. (You are kind in comparison, but I think that's what threw me off, I expect it from her not you so much.)

Nothing seems off but after a careful rereading I'm pretty sure I know who did the Obliviate spell. (Thought I knew first time through, but wanted to reread this and a previous chapter to be sure.) Now I'm just wondering how deeply this person was involved in the crimes.

[octobersnow.livejournal.com]

FTS, Leave in that plot line because it adds a whole new level of tension and though the resolution may seem anti-climatic I actually released a relieved sigh when Cassius dropped the news.

[themolesmother.livejournal.com]

Phew!! This tale has more twists in it than Hampton Court Maze.

Light is ever so slightly beginning to dawn about how Clark's memory was modified. I'm not very quick on the uptake about these things :-).

Looking forward to the final denouement.

MM

PS - Glad you let Rhiannon off!

[snorkackcatcher]

Thanks! Only one major thing to clear up now.

Light is ever so slightly beginning to dawn about how Clark's memory was modified

Oh dear. This bit wasn't in the original 'plan' (it struck me part way through) so may be yet another thing that needs to be rethought if I do a Version 2.0 as everyone seems to have immediately figured out what was happening there. :(

[snorkackcatcher]

Yeah, a number of people seem to have it figured out (although hopefully not all of the details). That's why I think it's a good thing that the chapters follow on rather than having the Aurors faff about for a bit. I'm just hoping I might get one or two people posting comments on ch42 that say 'well, I wasn't expecting that'. :)

[snorkackcatcher]

Okay ... I may need to take out the similar plotline when Cassius is in trouble then. (That one was a late addition when I decided that it would be rather weak if the trap they were setting went too smoothly. The Rhiannon situation had been in the works for a while.)

[octobersnow.livejournal.com]

I don't really see why you would have to take that out. I mean I understand the reasoning that you don't want two horrendous injuries to Tonks' co-workers, but I actually think it works. If I were in your shoes (which I can't be 'cause I can't write one quarter so well), I think I would maybe lessen the severity of Cassius' situation, but not get rid of it entirely (Wouldn't you have to rewrite a great deal of the aftermath or would you just have Cassius squirted with no effect, but everything else stay the same?)

I would read either version gladly, because you spin a very good tale.

[octobersnow.livejournal.com]

*is spamming this post*

Don't be sad, it took me until then, Tonks' light bulb moment, to figure it out and I had to go back several chapters and read a different section to be sure. It's just that we've gotten so used to you throwing us curveballs that we start looking for the next one.

I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter (and Version 2.0, even if all you change is a wording error or two.)

[snorkackcatcher]

Ah -- by the sound of that, you have spotted the answer then, because that's what you were supposed to have to do. The idea was to split the key event and the thing that gave it away, and have lots going on in between to distract the reader as well as the Aurors from noticing. :)

Version 2.0 would probably clean up the loose ends, drop bits that never went anywhere (such as Tonks spotting Nott Snr in Knockturn Alley), and make some structural changes -- most notably having Rufus Scrimgeour as the Auror boss all along. The subplot whereby he wormed his way up to the top job was hastily retconned in after HBP came out, and I've never been too keen on it because it makes Amelia Bones look rather weak. That would probably require a change of surname for Cassius, too, and maybe making him even more distantly related to Rufus -- great-uncle by marriage, perhaps.

[snorkackcatcher]

Thanks! I suppose that maybe stopping the chapter after Cassius gets sprayed with the stuff could work, or even just as he picks up the pen, and then the next chapter starting with emergency medical attention in situ -- maybe even because Carrack has said what the stuff was by that time. It would mean tweaking or dropping the scene with Cassius' kids to give Tonks some other reason for finally twigging that he'd married a Muggle (unfortunately she seems to have had a habit of being slow on the uptake in this, which wasn't planned).

The main problem, you see, was having both chapters end with them Portkeying away, and then the next ones start with them sitting around in the hospital. I could handwave it to say it was deliberately drawing parallels, except of course it wasn't -- it was me using something I'd planned for a later chapter in an earlier one.