NTLJ chapter 36 at FictionAlley

[snorkackcatcher]

Just posted: chapter 36, Of Kith and Kin (previously posted at CoS Forums). In which Tonks learns what the exploding quill actually contained instead of ink, meets Cassius's children at the hospital, and remembers some family history of her own.

Comments

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

I shall look forward to that when i've finished this effing Creative Writing Assignment (due Thursday for my OU course and 70% of the effing marks). In the meantime, I confidently predict that the quill contained blueberry yoghurt and a Permanent Sticking Charm, to embarrass the victim so much that he never shows his face again and hands over all his finacial affairs. Much less risky than murder.

(I'll get my coat.)

[snorkackcatcher]

Damn, you should have put that in a spoiler tag.

[snorkackcatcher]

Oh, and good luck with the Creative Writing course. You should walk it. :)

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Tne tutor is quite demanding (in a good way), so I've really had to spend time on this. 1500 words, and they've taken seven days, seven drafts, the main character has changed gender (twice, thankfully) one of the two other characters has been dropped and I've rewritten it from 1st person instead of 3rd. But it's good. Or at least, I can't yet make it much better. There is one minor quibble left, but I'm going to sleep on that.

I read chapter 36 and enjoyed it very much. I'm astonished at how well you keep the pace up given that this was a chapter where very little happened, particularly compared to the previous one. This is also a rollercoaster, but an emotional one. It was interesting reading the bit where you take time to explain exactly how and why Tonks' hair was thought to be a good thing to use, given that as a reader I'd skipped all the logic and just thought Whoops! Those hair cuttings are going to come back to bite you.

I still think it's Angelica, though. :)

Wolf at the Door next? I used that for chapter 3 of Cry Wolf because I'd run out of appropriate sings with Moon in the title. All the ones I could think of were slushy and I wanted something a bit, well, bleaker. It'll work better for you than it did for me, I think!

[octobersnow.livejournal.com]

So, I'm re-reading this at FA (and loving it - this is one of my favorite stories). I noticed a few things in Chapter 7 and being the quirk that I am would rather tell you here than at FA (mainly due to lack of account there).

So in Chap 7 when Tonks is using the WEB Access she inquires about a Farnham, but talks about results on a Forsyth? (This could just be me reading at 1:30 am.)

The other is a mere typo (but one that made me giggle none the less). When Andromeda is referring to Cassius' family as "Quite nice people..." you have mice typed there. (Who in their right mind would put n next to m on the keyboard anyway?)

I have no idea if you can (or want) to correct these, but I thought you might like to know of their existence.

[snorkackcatcher]

Aagh! I remember that now -- object lesson of the danger of pulling names out of the air for random people there for background colour who are never going to be mentioned again. I jotted down 'Freddy Forsyth' originally before it dawned on me that it sounded like the thriller writer's name, so changed the surname to 'Farnham' but missed one.

I see from the master file that I have made the nice/mice change, so I'll resubmit the chapter. Knowing FA, it'll probably appear in about a week and a half. :)

Thanks!

[snorkackcatcher]

Or at least, I would edit it if the story management edit function didn't seem to be broken at the moment. Hmm. I'll have to report that to the mods.