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Gacked from a lot of people -- ten things you invented for fanfic that you know aren't canon, but like anyway.



1. Nymphadora Tonks got her embarrassing first name -- and an equally embarrassing middle name -- from the heroines of a popular wizarding children's book that Andromeda read and loved as a girl. This book resembles a cross between HP and Five Go Mad At Hogwarts.

2. She had, in fact, encountered her first cousin Draco Malfoy before the fight at the end of HBP, when she passed by his tent while on duty as security at the World Cup. Naturally, this unexpected family reunion resulted merely in a snarking contest involving the exchange of harsh words about each others' parentage and prospects.

3. Aurors are issued with a multifunction gadget to help them in their work, a sort of 'Swiss Auror Knife'. Its most important magical property is that for any minor task they are required to perform by the plot, they can assume that this handy device will have an attachment suitable for carrying it out without further need for authorial elaboration.

4. Aurors, and other Ministry personnel, can uncover information stored in their records by consulting the 'Wizarding Easy Book Access'. This handy artwork-based interactive search system, known as the 'WEB Access' for short, allows a wizard or witch to set a portrait to work hunting through the catalogued archive contents at high, charm-enhanced speed, then examine possible results, print off copies, and perform other such useful functions.

5. New Minister for Magic Rufus Scrimgeour followed his great-uncle Cassius into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement after the latter blazed a trail back in the Edwardian era (formerly the Scrimgeours considered themselves far too posh for that sort of thing). Both are slightly disgruntled by the fact that, after Cassius first retired and then returned as an Auror, Rufus had already risen higher than he did.

6. The Marauders did not actually come up with the idea for the Map off the tops of their heads. They got the idea from the security maps of this kind often used in large wizarding buildings such as the Ministry, and worked out how to make one of their own using a combination of surreptitious exploration of the Restricted Section, furtive experimentation, and natural brilliance.

7. Bungy, the water-skiing budgie who appeared on the news bulletin at the start of OotP, is not in fact a budgie at all. He is a budgerigar Animagus called Trill who works as an Auror and uses his bird form as a convenient way to spy on suspects, but sometimes get a little carried away and starts showing off.

8. The 'magic bullet' involved in the Kennedy assassination was, in fact, an actual magic bullet. The reasons for the strange path it followed were the end result of a complex chain of circumstances involving legal and illegal American wizarding organisations, Truman's secret Presidential research station set up to study magic, and the unforeseen side-effects of applying multiple spells to the same object.

9. Walburga Black had a secret crush on Troy, the star Chaser of the Irish World Cup Quidditch Team. When she finally realised that he was a Muggle-born and therefore scum, she was so mortified that she shut herself away in 12 Grimmauld Place and ended up going completely round the twist as a result.

10. The Sorting Hat does, in fact, think it can be a pretty boring life being a Hat, and hence is always happy to chat discursively to random students who want to know what happens when they put it on again. Or indeed to researchers looking for material for their forthcoming book called Hogwarts, A History.
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